Hofje van Pauw also offers the possibility for relationship counselling. If a relationship is undergoing problems (spoken or unspoken), partners become less intimate with each other. Mutual contact is maintained through the daily routine, organising the tasks and keeping family life rolling. In this way the distance between partners become greater and it becomes more difficult to bridge the divide.
Principles from Haptonomy and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) are brought together in Hofjes van Pauw ‘s Relationship Counselling.
EFT draws on attachment theory, which asserts that humans are hardwired for strong emotional bonds with others. According to EFT, couples have relationship problems when they’ve “experienced emotional disconnection with their partner at key moments, which then leads to struggles” with negative cycles of criticism and anger (among other emotions and reactions). The Haptonomic approach of the therapist will create a safe and bonding environment, free from judgments, in which both partners feel free to express their feelings and doubts about what they experience
Haptonomic principles will be used in different ways in order to reinforce ways of improving their relationship and bringing the partners closer together. The counselling pays special attention to non-verbal communication. This is supported by (physical) exercises.
During the guidance we will focus on aspects of communication, such as:
- what is said and what is meant
- what lies beneath the unspoken
- how body language may contribute to the clarity of the conversation
- the interconnection between the partners
- the ability of partners to be able to tune into their partners feelings, to identify them and accept them
How does it work,
Firstly we have an initial meeting where we look at how the relationship started and evolved, what the expectations were at the beginning of the relationship and how these have changed over time. What has strengthened the relationship and what has weakened it? What developments has each partner undergone in life? We will focus on the deficiencies in the relationship and we will pay attention to each partner’s vision of these problems.
This inventory quickly clarifies the input of each partner in the relationship and how setbacks and disagreements are handled.
To be able to tune into your partners feelings, identify them and accept them,
Why do people choose Haptotherapeutic Relationship Counselling?
Often couples who come to us have stopped talking about their problems in their relationship. They feel frustrated and angry in the relationship, because they can’t make their needs clear to their partner. During their struggles and fights, it is not the content of the argument, but the tone and atmosphere, the loss of interconnection and accessibility and the loss of attachment which drives them apart. In Haptotherapeutic Relationship Counselling, haptonomic principles will be used in different ways to achieve improvement in the relationship and a closer connection. It pays special attention to the non-verbal communication. This is supported by (physical) exercises
Starting Relationship Counselling is no guarantee that the relationship will survive!
Haptotherapy focuses on the authenticity, autonomy and attachment of people. The counselling helps people to come closer to their ‘true selves’. This is also an aim we pursue during the Relationship Counselling. A person can only improve attachment in a relationships when he/she is able to be true to his own identity. Within this context, both partners explore where they able to change. The development of this process will ultimately make clear and determine whether the relationship can grow.